September 07, 2017

-Hey guys. How has your week been? Mine has been really stressful and I literally can’t wait for Saturday.

So two months ago I started internship at this really cool law firm here in Port Harcourt. The name of the firm is  SOLOLA AND AKPANA and honest to God the people at that firm are the nicest set of people I have ever come across in my life and it pains me that I would be ending my internship next week.

In order to get to work every day I have to enter a bus straight to the bus stop of the office. The journey is kind of long, stressful and sometimes funny depending on the bus I enter.

Over the past two months I have met a lot of characters in the bus and I thought it would be really cool to share it with you guys because, if I don’t blog it, who will? Lol.

So here are the five types of people I meet on a regular in the bus
  •   The “Fine geh can I have your number?” kind of guys:  These set of people are divided into two categories’. First we have the ones that actually make an effort to start up a reasonable conversation, you laugh and gist with them for a while before they ask for your number. These ones are okay but they change all of a sudden when you turn them down. Immediately you say no you start hearing things like “is it because I am asking for your number, see my friend, I am not your mate” or “useless girl, who told you that you are fine sef?” ermmm, you, like 5 minutes ago    The second type of people in this category are the ones who don’t waste time at all. I call them “Straight Shooter”. They don’t beat around the bush, they know what they want and when they don’t get it they move on. Their conversations are always like

-         Man: Hello fine geh

          Me: Hey, Good morning

          Man: My name is David, you are a really fine girl, can I have your number so that we can talk           later.

          Me: No

          Man: Baby geh I just want to be your friend.

          Me: No sir I am not interested.

          Man: Okay *Faces front*

          To be honest I love this set of people. No further disturbance or insult.
  •  The ones that play music from their “Made in China” phones: These ones still don’t know that there is something called earpiece. Early in the morning they enter the bus and the first thing that comes to their head is to showcase their DJ skills. Okay so if the songs they play were actually nice and relatable then I wouldn’t be complaining. The type of songs they play are songs that you can never find on the first five pages of Google. Totally unrelatable songs that would give you headache. And then what annoys me most is when they sing along. Oh my God!! Just thinking about them makes me so angry right now.

  •   The ones that never have change: okay I have to admit, I find this set of people very funny. Early in the morning they enter the bus with One Thousand Naira without informing the conductor and also totally ignoring the conductor’s constant shout of “No change oo, hold you change”. These set of people love the back seat, they would just hide there with their One Thousand Naira acting all cool and innocent. (Lol, I just remembered a case I read in Criminal Law where a man was killed as a result of the fight that ensued between him and the conductor over change). When it’s now time to pay they give the conductor the money while trying their best to avoid eye contact. Whenever this happens I always start laughing. And the worst part of it all is that when the conductor starts complaining as expected, there is never a sign of remorse from them. You would hear them shout “No insult me oo, I no be your mate”. lol, these people are always high on something. I swear they crack me up every time.

  • The ones that never shift inside: Oh my God, I cannot express how much I despise these set of people. When they enter the bus, especially the back seat, instead of them to shift inside they would seat down at the edge and expect you to squeeze yourself inside. Window seat people. Once, this really big lady sat at the edge so I had to squeeze myself inside, in the course of doing that I injured and could you believe that this lady couldn’t even open her chunky mouth to say sorry. Chai, Nigerians. Anyways I dislike this set of people a lot and I have to admit I have recently become like them. Lol. #DontJudgeMe

  •  The ones that have crazy body odour: I cannot stand this set of people. Their body odour be giving me memory loss. Early in the morning they will be smelling like they’ve not bathed for a week and they always like to make noise in the bus. Once I entered a bus and the man next to me had the worst BO ever, I just had to pretend like I forgot something at home and came down from the bus before his BO rubs off on me and I start carrying it with me everywhere I go like MTN (No pun intended)

So guys these are the five sets of people I encounter almost every day on my way to work. I will be sure to update you guys if I meet more.LOL

What type of people do you encounter on your way to work, school, church, basically anywhere, tell me all about it in the comment section.

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